I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
