i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
