wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
