I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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