I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
