hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
