How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize