I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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