butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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