Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Couch. On fire.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
