last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
