we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
