youre lurking in front of me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
