new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
