My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
