If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
