The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
