I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
