walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
