now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
