I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
