I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize