Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
