do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
