have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Hippo gnu deer
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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