Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!

(248): View more from Michigan

She can rap better than you any day

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(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

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(334): View more from Alabama

Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.

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(256): View more from Alabama

THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

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(719): View more from Colorado

Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.

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