see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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