So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize