I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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