"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
