Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
