Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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