I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize