and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
