What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
