so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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