If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
