Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
