how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
