I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
