dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
