never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so let's talk penis.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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