if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
