Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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