Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
