You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
