Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
