no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
