so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize