she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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