he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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