I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
