I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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