giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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