Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's paint friendship bongs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
