We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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