We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
