After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
